would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
