I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
