Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have demons in me.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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