Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
