I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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