I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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