No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This is the high leading the old right now
being pregnant is like rehab
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
