remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
