One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
