your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Watching her eat just hurts me
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
