I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
His nipple licking is glorious
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