Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
