Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
