You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
