Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
