My girlfriend figured out who you are.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
