Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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