you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
