I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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