i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
its not stalking. its research.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
