when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
