i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
