I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
