? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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