Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
