Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
