An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
