we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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