Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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