his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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