Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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