why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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