I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
