is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
