Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
