Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
