my mouth tastes like poor choices
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
