Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Say something about gay babies.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
