Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
