ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
