Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
