PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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