saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
