she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
