Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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