hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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