I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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