Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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