remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize