Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
