She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
