Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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