Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
