You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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